On One Hand...

So, I’ve been gone for a while. Not really gone, but you know, off living my life, making dubious choices and whatnot. As you’ll see below, A LOT has been going on, so I don’t feel too bad about neglecting you. You know, all 4 of you who read this since I refuse to put every detail of my private life on here for random Internet stalkers to find. Deal with it.

I signed up for grad classes again. I know. I KNOW.  And now, um, I’ve decided to stop taking grad classes again. I learned a few more things this time and yes I had to go through the agony all over again, but what can I say? I’m thick-headed and sometimes it takes more than one try. Let’s not go any deeper into it now, other than to say, I’m still at the drawing board about career paths…but more on that later.

In other happy news (and yes, stopping the classes again is happy news in that it’s the right decision even if a hard one), my shoulder is still healing wonderfully well, and even better…… wait for it……Yes, this is big………That big………… No, I’m not pregnant and no that’s not a funny guess……… I’m about 5.5 months away from my most recent migraine. Did you catch that? I have been alive and living for almost 6 months without a migraine. Eating chocolate. Drinking coffee. Sleeping irregularly. Eating MSG (Chex Mix, I’ve missed you).  Certainly stressing out.  Welcome back, life. I missed you and it’s damn good to be home.

Moment of silence for the blessed absence of migraines.

I also joined a Bible study and it makes me uncomfortable and pushes my boundaries and requires me to let my guard down on a regular basis. It’s hard. And not always fun and easy. But it’s good for me. And I’m private about it, so that’s all I’ll say about that. Now, on to regular church attendance and worship–wish me luck on this starting Sunday!

Okay, back to career pathing. I had a Eureka moment today. I’ve been taking all sorts of Oprah and other online quizzes and reading books and asking questions and looking even more helpless and clueless and disoriented than usual in front of lots of people when I usually prefer to look together, organized, and self-assure…Good gracious, I’ve been downright floundering. I’m asking questions, and trying very hard to listen for answers.

So today, when I was trying to multitask at work and ignore the usual burnout/overwhelming/panic/exhausted feeling that sits on my shoulders lately, I realized I wished I were doing something with my hands. BAM! (And no, not just typing or writing to-do lists. Those don’t count.) I miss using my hands! I like to bake because I get to knead bread. With my hands. I like to draw/paint/make greeting cards/cross stitch because its tactile. With my hands. I like to touch textures and feel softness and smoothness and sand paper and grains of rice. With my hands. My favorite paintings from college were ones I glumped the paint onto, making chunky spots. I probably felt better balance in college as both a business major (brain) and art double major (touch) because I used my hands too. I’m attracted to new hobbies like sewing and gardening and home repair/decoration because I GET TO USE MY HANDS!! Are you seeing a pattern? Yeah, me too.

No, I’m not quitting my job. But I’m Absolutely. Tickled. Pink. to have figured out this tiny piece of the puzzle. If nothing else, in the short-term I can be more intentional about spending time using my hands. Wahoo!!

Also on the career train of thought….an Oprah quiz tried to get me thinking about not only my passions, but my skills and visualized goals….and blah blah blah…. After pondering, I was able to articulate that all my passions and lots of my visualized lifestyles/jobs are about caring for others. I like that. I don’t like email or organization or file folders or metrics. I like caring for people, and I happen to be good at organization, and goal-setting, and project management, and process management. I don’t mind these things as means to caring for people  but I don’t like them all by themselves. This is SUPER helpful for me! I have been feeling all restless and sort of itchy in my job lately, and I’m thinking it’s because the volume got high enough that it wasn’t about caring for students and organizing my time to do that well, but about delegating the caring. Yuck! I don’t mind the relationship-building, but it’s really the caring part I like. Once a relationship is built, the caring means more, but its the caring that really excites me. How cool is that? I figured out two pieces of the puzzle!!!

So, now, using my hands and caring for people? Anyone have any ideas? Don’t be afraid, just shout it right out. My latest idea is a B&B. Seriously, I even checked out a library book (or three) about how to start one. It never hurts to read up on it and take away a little of the romance and add in a bit of reality, right?

Maybe I should reconsider that etsy shop in my free time? Peeps are definitely getting crafty Christmas gifts this year!  And Yes, its November 1st, so my Christmas music is going full blast. It’s been long enough. I’ve missed the Charlie Brown album for months now, so its back in the rotation. And, mint M&Ms! I can eat them this time! My cup is overflowing….

Here’s hoping you have a good week, figure out a piece of your puzzle, and share any career ideas you have for me!