Small Things

Inspired by a blog post I read this morning and wanting to hold on to the good things as I stare at an unachievable mountain of work to come for spring semester, here are the tiny good things I’m focusing on:

• hot cocoa
• twinkle lights
• favorite renditions of Christmas songs
• good satin ribbon
• funny, funny moments with Sweet Husband
• time for naps
• sunshine

Here’s hoping that tides me over…until the end of the day at least…

On One Hand…

So, I’ve been gone for a while. Not really gone, but you know, off living my life, making dubious choices and whatnot. As you’ll see below, A LOT has been going on, so I don’t feel too bad about neglecting you. You know, all 4 of you who read this since I refuse to put every detail of my private life on here for random Internet stalkers to find. Deal with it.

I signed up for grad classes again. I know. I KNOW.  And now, um, I’ve decided to stop taking grad classes again. I learned a few more things this time and yes I had to go through the agony all over again, but what can I say? I’m thick-headed and sometimes it takes more than one try. Let’s not go any deeper into it now, other than to say, I’m still at the drawing board about career paths…but more on that later.

In other happy news (and yes, stopping the classes again is happy news in that it’s the right decision even if a hard one), my shoulder is still healing wonderfully well, and even better…… wait for it……Yes, this is big………That big………… No, I’m not pregnant and no that’s not a funny guess……… I’m about 5.5 months away from my most recent migraine. Did you catch that? I have been alive and living for almost 6 months without a migraine. Eating chocolate. Drinking coffee. Sleeping irregularly. Eating MSG (Chex Mix, I’ve missed you).  Certainly stressing out.  Welcome back, life. I missed you and it’s damn good to be home.

Moment of silence for the blessed absence of migraines.

I also joined a Bible study and it makes me uncomfortable and pushes my boundaries and requires me to let my guard down on a regular basis. It’s hard. And not always fun and easy. But it’s good for me. And I’m private about it, so that’s all I’ll say about that. Now, on to regular church attendance and worship–wish me luck on this starting Sunday!

Okay, back to career pathing. I had a Eureka moment today. I’ve been taking all sorts of Oprah and other online quizzes and reading books and asking questions and looking even more helpless and clueless and disoriented than usual in front of lots of people when I usually prefer to look together, organized, and self-assure…Good gracious, I’ve been downright floundering. I’m asking questions, and trying very hard to listen for answers.

So today, when I was trying to multitask at work and ignore the usual burnout/overwhelming/panic/exhausted feeling that sits on my shoulders lately, I realized I wished I were doing something with my hands. BAM! (And no, not just typing or writing to-do lists. Those don’t count.) I miss using my hands! I like to bake because I get to knead bread. With my hands. I like to draw/paint/make greeting cards/cross stitch because its tactile. With my hands. I like to touch textures and feel softness and smoothness and sand paper and grains of rice. With my hands. My favorite paintings from college were ones I glumped the paint onto, making chunky spots. I probably felt better balance in college as both a business major (brain) and art double major (touch) because I used my hands too. I’m attracted to new hobbies like sewing and gardening and home repair/decoration because I GET TO USE MY HANDS!! Are you seeing a pattern? Yeah, me too.

No, I’m not quitting my job. But I’m Absolutely. Tickled. Pink. to have figured out this tiny piece of the puzzle. If nothing else, in the short-term I can be more intentional about spending time using my hands. Wahoo!!

Also on the career train of thought….an Oprah quiz tried to get me thinking about not only my passions, but my skills and visualized goals….and blah blah blah…. After pondering, I was able to articulate that all my passions and lots of my visualized lifestyles/jobs are about caring for others. I like that. I don’t like email or organization or file folders or metrics. I like caring for people, and I happen to be good at organization, and goal-setting, and project management, and process management. I don’t mind these things as means to caring for people  but I don’t like them all by themselves. This is SUPER helpful for me! I have been feeling all restless and sort of itchy in my job lately, and I’m thinking it’s because the volume got high enough that it wasn’t about caring for students and organizing my time to do that well, but about delegating the caring. Yuck! I don’t mind the relationship-building, but it’s really the caring part I like. Once a relationship is built, the caring means more, but its the caring that really excites me. How cool is that? I figured out two pieces of the puzzle!!!

So, now, using my hands and caring for people? Anyone have any ideas? Don’t be afraid, just shout it right out. My latest idea is a B&B. Seriously, I even checked out a library book (or three) about how to start one. It never hurts to read up on it and take away a little of the romance and add in a bit of reality, right?

Maybe I should reconsider that etsy shop in my free time? Peeps are definitely getting crafty Christmas gifts this year!  And Yes, its November 1st, so my Christmas music is going full blast. It’s been long enough. I’ve missed the Charlie Brown album for months now, so its back in the rotation. And, mint M&Ms! I can eat them this time! My cup is overflowing….

Here’s hoping you have a good week, figure out a piece of your puzzle, and share any career ideas you have for me!

Say Thank You

Things I’m thankful for, so you can remind me in like 2 minutes when I need a smack upside the head:

• Time with Family and Friends. Done.
• Paleo Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins. Deserve every single capital letter.
• Healed shoulders. Amen.
• Yoga by Candlelight. Om.
• Sweet Husband. Totally in L-O-V-E.
• Fall. Wrap me up in happiness and call me a snuggly sweater.
• Hot Apple Cider. Hmmmmmmdeepsighofhappinessallthewaydowntomytoes.
• My Cousin Vinny. Still hilarious. Oddly, the mastery of Marisa Tomei makes me miss Brittany Murphy.
• New communities
• Paleo chicken soup–no noodles but still all the deliciousness and so easy!!!
• Sore after a good workout.
• Up-cycled clothes at a cute new boutique called EmBo.
• Grad classes that don’t suck but still take up lots of time.
• Parenthood. Tears, laughter, rage, confusion… the full range of family emotions.
• Thoughtful blogs. Luv me some thoughtful blogs.
• Wonderful books, and sometimes even the nice librarian!
• Looking forward to fun fall events, like cider donuts. (FYI: Will Run for Cider Donuts)
• Unexpected love from unexpected places.
• Dear, dear, kind, wonderful friends who understand the little places you hide from everyone else.

I have a lot to be thankful for. Thank you. Amen.

 

What are you thankful for tonight?

 

Call me selfish

I sat down tonight to write, with no real plan. That never happens. My posts are usually premeditated, but tonight, I just really needed Me-time. That’s right. I’m a giver in every way, but I frankly suck at remember to reserve enough me for Me until it’s too late and I’m flat on the floor. Tonight, it’s all about me. Screw the trip to the grocery store–what else is a freezer full of food for if not a Me-time night? Call me selfish.

So here I sit, tea light candle flickering pleasantly, calmly, unobtrusively in the cool (not humid!) breeze through open windows, ruffling the fronds of my favored fern. I might take a bath later, soaking decadently in my most favorite Pure Grace all-in-one bath product (bath gel, shampoo, and bubble bath)…paint my nails pretty gold without caring if its perfect for work or how long it will last or if my nails are neatly filed. I might even enjoy some wine, just because. Just because. Sigh. Maybe some watercolor painting, catching up on emails to friends (why are those the ones I leave until I’m Too Tired, or For Later? Aren’t they more important than those damn LinkedIn updates and Whole Living’s new zucchini recipes? Sheesh.). If I weren’t pursuing and loving this Paleo lifestyle and diet (read: feeling clean on the inside and energetic and light), I’d even bake some bread.

Realistically, I won’t get all that done. I’ve done some writing now, and that replenishes me. Now, I’ll try to paint a tiny blue bird and frame it in the bamboo frame I’ve had lying around for a long time with multiple openings, along with some hopes and dreams. Achieve balance. Love myself exactly as I am. Plan for health. Celebrate friends and family.

What hopes and dreams would you frame and hang to see every day?

And then go to bed early. I savor and giggle at the pleasure I feel in going to bed early. Especially when I can get into a soft bed, white cotton sheets, light coverlet, and watch the last bits of light in a summer sky through open windows. Peace and dreams.

Loving My Two Arms

So, we have a tornado warning right now. As Sweet Husband is away for the summer working a job, I’m here by myself and down a limb (though the shoulder surgery recovery is coming along slowly but successfully so far–thanks for asking!). As I’m a Scare-dy Cat, and per Sweet Husband’s patient instructions, I’m sitting in the hallway leaning against my own apartment door to be away from windows. Note to self–must get more cushiony doormat for Tornado warning situations. Anyway.

I am listening to my neighbors who, though you cannot hear at all through the walls, it turns out the doors are not so sound proof. One neighbor, apparently either unaware or unconcerned about the warning, is drying her hair. I understand–it is important to look good in a tornado situation. Another is talking on the phone. My favorite, though, is the neighbor listening to awesome jazz music. If I close my eyes and pretend I’m drinking a forbidden caffeinated and chocolatey beverage, I can almost imagine I’m across the street in a cafe, you know, except for the strong winds that keep opening and closing dumpsters lids and slamming them loudly and positiviely whistling under the door. Sheesh, Wind, keep it down wouldja? I’m trying to eavesdrop on good music here.

So, back to this blog post. Things I’m loving right now. Right.

As I’m slowly wearing the shoulder brace for less and less time each day, I am getting to rediscover all the super fun and wonderful things one can do with two arms! It’s amazing. Truly. And so, without anymore mumblings about storms or jazz, here is my list of fun things to do with two arms. If you think you are cool because you can already do these, then just take a minute to appreciate how freaking awesome the body is and all you can do with it each day!

• Washing my face with two hands. The left side of my face feels w.e.i.r.d. like the texture has changed. I washed it before of course, but somehow the opposite arm just didn’t do it quite right.
• Buttoning pants. Its, um, sort of spring/summer here, with one day being 65 degrees and the next 89 degrees, so its been hard not to have pants as an option for work. But now, I can button them with two hands!!!
• Put on my post pearl earrings. Ahhh, now I feel more like myself.
• Wash dishes. Who knew? I hate washing dishes, but somehow my single beverage choice of water tastes better from a glass than a plastic cup. Yum. Need to have some when I go back into the apartment.
• Cooking. I’m planning a celebratory pan of lemon bars soon to celebrate.
• Stapling papers at work. It just takes too long with one hand.
• And my favorite–typing! I am a speed demon! It is amazing how many more emails I can crank out when typing with all ten fingers. Go me.

That’s it for now, and though the wonderful jazz continues, Sweet Husband has stayed up with me (he’s in a later time zone) and just sent an updated radar screen shot that shows I’m now into just plain green rain.And Weather.com agrees with him and has downgraded our warnings. Success.

Here’s a parting question for you–how weird would it be to go knock on the neighbor’s door and ask for the playlist of CD she or he is listening to? Its jammin. Just curious.

Summer is here!

The air is muggy and thick in Chi-town today, perfect for the heralding of summer’s maiden day. It has me thinking of all things summer and whether I’ve lived in Hot-lanta, west Michigan, the nation’s capitol, or here in the Windy City, there are certain elements of the season which seem absolutely necessary and really make it relaxing and wonderful. Here are my favorite things that make Summer Summer:

• brightly painted toenails and flip-flops
• putt putt (I love this game all the time, but even more when I win!)
• annual beach trip
• my momma’s deviled eggs
• huge slices of watermelon
• burgers. yummmm….
• golf on tv, baseball games nearby
• basil, tomato, and mozzarella salad. perfect every. single. time.
• sundresses and sunscreen and freckles
• farmer’s markets
• fruit flavored popsicles

What your summer favorites?

Smart Girls Wear Pearls

This is one of my favorite sayings, to the point that I recently made a t-shirt with puffy paint on it to proclaim this to the world. Its aqua blue (one of my favorite colors) with white paint and a “string of pearls” along the collar. I’m too cute. Of course, so far I’ve only had the courage to wear it around the apartment, but I’m building up to it.

So here’s the sad thing–very soon, I won’t be wearing pearls. That’s right, my most cherished pair of earrings from Sweet Husband are small freshwater irregular pearl posts, and I won’t be able to wear them. Why not, you ask? Well, putting on post earrings is only one on the list of things I’m realizing one cannot accomplish with one arm and hand (I’ll be down one set from shoulder surgery next week). Try it. It’s too hard.

Other than that, the list includes random things you wouldn’t even stop to consider, so insignificant it never even occurred to you to write them on a to-do list, so obvious you just assume you can get it done. But no. Its a bit like being a very small child, in a big person body.

I can’t button jeans (or any pants for that matter), or tie on my running shoes (which is sort of okay since I won’t be able to run for a long while as the shoulder heals). I can’t cut food with a fork and knife, because the force to stabilize the food with the fork is too much. Again, this one is okay because I also won’t be cooking due to the inability to wash dishes very well with one arm. Here’s where it gets really, really good: washing to good arm….um, drip body wash down it and call it a day? Oh wait, how would you hold the body wash? Putting on eyeliner–I guess it’s a pure and natural mascara-only kind of summer. And my favorite to date–clipping my fingernails. On the good hand. I realized that I clench my teeth whenever I cut my nails anyway, so I can only imagine doing it with a weakened arm. So.

If you’re in the area and want to trim my nails for me, or even paint them pretty (the one hand MJ look is so out), let me know! I’ll be around. Otherwise, enjoy and appreciate your arms. (I know, right? I keep thinking I should really utilize them until the surgery….like…tying my shoes several extra times a day? I’m such a dork. Just go with it, okay?)